Today I tried out a site called 750words.com. My friend, Sam, recommended I give it a try since I seem to complain a lot about not writing. So off I went to write, and the mess that came tumbling out when I didn’t have a topic or reason to be writing was an embarrassment. So of course I will share some of it with you, because I love spreading the joy: Okay, here I go. I’m writing 750 words. I hate this type of exercise. It makes me feel foolish and tired, which probably means it’s good for me, like broccoli and regular tooth brushing. I’m not totally convinced though. I mean, I don’t mind occasional hygiene, but broccoli’s kind of gross. So is having to write when I don’t feel like it… I wonder if I’m supposed to create new paragraphs. That’ll be hard since every sentence I write seems to be on a different topic. Speaking of different topics, I’m fucking sick of this drought we’re having here in Texas. I feel like a raisin. My insides feel dusty, and I have an urge to sprinkle myself. Actually, I feel like a HUGE raisin—a prune, perhaps. A giant,…

There’s a nasty rumor going around that I am a tad on the neurotic side. I’m not exactly sure how this rumor started, but it’s likely that #BlogathonATX Part 3 had something to do with it. Now, that’s not to say the event itself was tense and Xanax-filled (present company excluded), and hopefully none of the attendees could tell, but I do have a tendency to worry a bit. Unfortunately, there’s a good chance some of the members of my planning team noticed a personality shift during the weeks leading up to the event. Perhaps it was the the 27 emails I sent to Kay and Laurie about napkins or the panicked phone calls to Blair and Cathy about sentence structure and trash cans. Did the the worry tweets I regularly aimed at Amanda hint at a tad of insecurity, or was it my preoccupation with Julie and Jeremy’s choice of fonts that gave me away? It’s really hard to say exactly what may have tipped them off.

My friend Elmer Boutin wrote several articles about the most recent #BlogathonATX. This one is an excellent review of our session on video blogging, led by Talmadge Boyd. I really love Elmer’s note-taking style. I think we’ve found the official scribe of Blogathon! Video Blogging With Talmadge Boyd – #BlogathonATX By Elmer Boutin – The Crossing of Marketing & IT Talmadge Boyd (@Talmadge) headed up with first session at BlogathonATX and gave out some great tips on video bloggin. Here they are, in no particular order of importance: Anyone who’s not afraid of their face should video blog. You shouldn’t be afraid, how you look like how you’re going to look. Check out The War of Art by Steven Pressfield (Amazon Affiliate link). Don’t use the excuse that “I’m just not into it today” or “The muse just isn’t with me” for creating. If you create for a living, get out there and do it. Content-wise, everything needs to be bite-sized. People don’t consume things like they used to. A challenege it to make thjngs short enough and compelling enough to to get your message across. Write a short piece and then shoot based on on that idea or thought. Don’t…

Hello iPad, my old friend I’ve come to play with you again But this network is slowly creeping Dropped the Wi-Fi while I was Skyping And the iTunes that were planted in my brain Still remain Within the walls of Apple The internets I walked alone My iPod and my iPhone By the halo of an iMac Ten hours of Photoshop won’t break my back When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of some rare sunlight (I worked all night) Just like the staff at Apple And in the iTunes store I saw Ten thousand mobile apps or more People sharing songs on Spotify Checked in on Foursquare though I don’t know why People writing blogs that no one ever shares ’cause no one cares Except the nerds at Apple Hardware choices start to grow MacBook Air or MacBook Pro They say the iPhone 5 is coming soon When it does I’m pretty sure I’ll swoon But my hopes, like silent teardrops fell And echoed Within the well of Apple And the people bowed and prayed To the Apple god they made And their thumbs all hurt from texting Too many hashtags and LOL-ing And their texts said, “The…

For the past few weeks my house has been a construction zone. We’re not talking about a “moved furniture to paint the wall” situation, but a full-fledged, air-compressing, belt-sanding jobsite. My brother-in-law, Jay, came down from Waco to help my husband completely gut and remodel the front office. Please do not skim that last line—yes, I said Waco. My husband accuses me of being the most judgmental non-judgmental person he’s ever met, but I’m sorry, if you can’t see the town of Waco as being pertinent to this or any other story, you must be from Longview. Jay is a nice enough fellow, but let’s just say that not even with bifocals and Lasik surgery will we ever see eye to eye. He’s the NRA, to my NOW; the venison stew to my tofu stir-fry. I think it would be accurate to call him a good ol’ boy. Jay is a hunter. A cross between weapons depot and meat processing plant, his house is more Guns & Ammo than Better Homes & Gardens. When not killing woodland creatures, Jay likes cooking and eating them. Equal parts Betty Crocker and Ted Nugent, Jay seems to be an expert on everything from…

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you’d be better off going back to bed? You know—the one where you’re buried in paperwork, the sink is clogged and your spouse just used your $40 tweezers to pull a staple out of the wall? Of course you have. Perhaps you’ve found a way to take the edge off—maybe a glass of wine or a moist snack cake. Personally, I prefer to unwind after a harrowing day by flipping through the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. More commonly known as the DSM (not to be confused with the DMV, which has its own unique collection of mental cases), this tantalizing tome produced by the American Psychiatric Association is the how-to manual of hypochondriacs and former beauty pageant contestants everywhere. Here are a few examples that illustrate why just a couple minutes of reading can change one’s entire outlook on life. I hope you’ll find it useful. 1) Intermittent Explosive Disorder: Symptoms include frequent and often unpredictable episodes of extreme anger or physical outbursts. While I typically shy away from confrontation, even this mild-mannered gal has her limits. Consider the great laundromat episode of 1996, during…

A few things you may not know about IleenieWeenie… I suffer from emetaphobia (irrational fear of vomit). More than once I’ve spent the night in my car in the driveway when my husband’s had a stomach bug. One summer I took graphic design courses in Switzerland with the guy who designed the IBM logo. I was a ski bum in Vail, Colorado for three years. I won 1st place in the 6th grade science fair with an experiment involving human teeth. My parents almost named me Samantha, but my mom was worried that if I had a lisp I’d be Thamantha Markowithz. I was Junior class president of my high school. I once tread water for seven hours straight for a contest at summer camp. (I won) I don’t eat meat that walks on land, and I don’t like vegetables. I kept a pair of rhinestone dance shoes in the trunk of my car for nearly 10 years. (because you just never know) One of the best meals of my life was Long John Silver’s takeout, and I wasn’t even stoned. ** Mr. Weenie thinks I should add that I’ve never seen “The Outlaw Josey Wales.”