In Defense of Decaf

If you happen to be standing behind me in line at the local caffeine peddler, you’ll notice something that sets me apart from the rest of the addicts. No, it’s not my radass Chupacabra tattoo. (Okay, I don’t really have a Chupacabra tattoo, but wouldn’t it be awesome if I did?)

I am addicted to decaf espresso. More specifically, decaf espresso with exactly two tablespoons of half and half and one teaspoon of sugar. (Yes, I measure.) I would like to posit that my love of coffee is deeper precisely because I drink decaf. I don’t drink it for the jolt of caffeine; I drink it for the flavor (and for the jolt of sugar and cream).

My morning coffee preparation is as delicate as a Japanese tea ceremony, only with more spilling. As you can see in the photo essay below, each cup is unique.

“One Girl, Seven Cups”

SUNDAY - I think of Sunday as rather dainty. And possibly British.

MONDAY - I like using this cup on Mondays because it's like the sun is apologizing for waking me up so early by serving me a cup of coffee with of one of its crazy-ass sun ray arms.

TUESDAY - A little Weenie trivia for you: Tuesday is my seventh favorite day of the week.

WEDNESDAY - Meh.

THURSDAY - This cup really speaks to me. It says, "I sure wish it were Friday so I could take off early and go sit at a cafe under an umbrella drinking another cup of coffee. In France."

FRIDAY - I call this one my Green Cup of Deception. Do I feel happy because it's a seriously bitchin' green cup, or is it because I'm taking off early today to watch The Wire on Netflix? So goes the legend of the mysterious Green Cup of Deception.

SATURDAY - is almost as awesome as the guy who invented chocolate covered espresso beans. That guy rocks. In fact, I think Saturday should change its name to Chocolatecoveredespressobeaninventorday.