Bad News in the Garden of Eatin’

Last fall I wrote a post describing my first real foray into agriculture, where my enthusiasm was outweighed only by my ignorance of all things vegetative (other than myself during Law & Order marathons). Contrary to my hypothesis that vegetables don’t really come from seeds, but rather from Whole Foods, I quickly found small green things poking out of the dirt in my backyard.

Apparently the old graphic design maxim, “When it doubt, make it big.” applies to farming as well. (The second part of that maxim, “If still in doubt, make it big and red.,” only applies during tomato season.) After quickly becoming aware that I had planted a bit too much in my first garden, I decided to build another. And by “build another” I mean have Mr. Weenie do it while I check my email and apply lip balm. Once “Plan B” had been enacted, I anxiously awaited the bountiful harvest.

Fast forward a few months: Farmer Weenie has managed to kill all the squash and sugar snap peas. Even more tragic was her overzealous stand against “weeds,” which she later realized were actually arugula. On the bright side, the garden had produced two rather expensive radishes by February. Just yesterday, I went out to my garden to pick the first salad of the spring. Look how beautiful!

Sadly, my enthusiasm was short lived after taking one bite of my salad and immediately spitting the bitter greens onto my plate. Perhaps it’s time to turn the garden into a sandbox or turtle refuge. Maybe reptiles aren’t as picky about their leafy greens.

 

 

The End.