Blog

“You asked me once, what was in Room 101. I told you that you knew the answer already. Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.”  —Nineteen Eighty-Four Anyone familiar with George Orwell’s classic dystopian novel remembers Room 101 – the torture chamber in which a…

Dear Ilene’s Garden, After careful consideration, I’ve decided to put you out of your misery. I don’t take this responsibility lightly, but it’s clearly time. You had such promise in May, but let’s face it—you’ve never been an overachiever, and this process requires full dedication. I’ve noticed you daydreaming a lot (no doubt fantasizing about…

I’m sitting here at my computer listening to my jams, when David Bowie suddenly decides it is time for me to dance. So of course I’m all like, Check out my Fly Girl shimmy, yo.—because it’s freakin’ David Bowie, right? I’m in the process of transitioning to my most advanced moves, when all of a…

In yet another feeble stab at bettering myself, I decided to try to meditating this morning. (And by “meditate,” I mean “drink coffee without checking email.”) So I’m sitting there for about 25 seconds, when my brain starts talking to me. (My brain doesn’t support my attempts at self-improvement.) This is more or less how…

I don’t believe in god (or God), and I’m pretty down on religion too. I’m Jewish by birth, but that’s not so much a faith as it is an excuse to eat kugel and go to therapy. As far as religions go, Judaism isn’t the worst. (Although going to Hebrew school instead of participating in…