Part 13: Travelin’ Weenies: Epilogue

With a tattered map in the back seat and muddy footprints along the floorboards of our rental car, the Weenie family said farewell to the majestic Rocky Mountains and headed back home. Curiously, we left Austin with three bags and returned with four. It’s as if our luggage went on the same high-carb diet we did while on vacation

We arrived home to discover that Casa Weenie was busy while we were away:

1. The garden and all indoor plants committed suicide.
2. Our house almost caught on fire.
3. Something died in the refrigerator.
4. Gary the Home Gnome forgot to do the dishes and make the bed while we were out.

As I sprawl out on the kitchen floor, waiting for the house to cool down, it occurs to me that other than my husband and a 12-year-old boy panning for gold, I haven’t spoken to another human being in over two weeks. I’m a little nervous about going back to reality and the necessity for human contact—and a bit worried that everyone I know has forgotten who I am. As far as Twitter and Facebook are concerned, I no longer exist. Will I remember how to brush my teeth and bathe regularly? Will I recall how to turn on my computer or drive a car?

These are the questions running through my head as I notice a strange, rectangular object on the coffee table. When I pick it up and push the green button, a large box by the window comes to life with pictures and sound. Transfixed, I sit back and am immediately transported to another time and place—one in which a man wearing a tie tells me all the bad things that happened in the world while I was away. I push the red button and the box turns to black again. Then I lie back down on the floor, close my eyes and dream of mountains.

Check out the entire Travelin’ Weenie series:

Part 1: Travelin’ Weenies – The Colorado Experiment
Part 2: The Comfort of Crap
Part 3: Weenie in Her Full, Upright and Locked Position
Part 4: And they’re off…
Part 5: Down in the Valley
Part 6: Lost in Condo City
Part 7: Man Does Not Live by Cookies Alone
Part 8: Mountain Mama
Part 9: Why Poodles and Spas Don’t Mix
Part 10: On the Road Again
Part 11: Vail
Part 12: Rocky Mountain Hell