My first 750 words: My, how they suck.

Today I tried out a site called 750words.com. My friend, Sam, recommended I give it a try since I seem to complain a lot about not writing. So off I went to write, and the mess that came tumbling out when I didn’t have a topic or reason to be writing was an embarrassment. So of course I will share some of it with you, because I love spreading the joy:

Okay, here I go. I’m writing 750 words. I hate this type of exercise. It makes me feel foolish and tired, which probably means it’s good for me, like broccoli and regular tooth brushing. I’m not totally convinced though. I mean, I don’t mind occasional hygiene, but broccoli’s kind of gross. So is having to write when I don’t feel like it…

I wonder if I’m supposed to create new paragraphs. That’ll be hard since every sentence I write seems to be on a different topic. Speaking of different topics, I’m fucking sick of this drought we’re having here in Texas. I feel like a raisin. My insides feel dusty, and I have an urge to sprinkle myself. Actually, I feel like a HUGE raisin—a prune, perhaps. A giant, Jabba-esque, dried up plumb of a woman. I just drank a huge glass of water with psyllium fiber because I think that will make me healthy. Kind of like when people think that driving a BMW makes them fun to be around…

I like to read. Where the fuck did that come from? Don’t say it came from my inner depths, because all that’s in there now is a big puddle of psyllium goo and some crackers. Holy shit, I’m not even halfway done with this little exercise. And I’m supposed to do this everyday? Seriously? Not gonna happen…

I’m trying to be happier, nicer and less offensive. Showering helps. Okay, so back to the reading thing. Nonfiction is my usual choice these days, but it’s always about business or time management or something else that makes me feel like I’m behind. I need to find some good ol’ fiction. I need to laugh out loud for a reason. Otherwise, I just look weird and scare the dog…

I like to write too, but I get so nit-picky and perfectionistic. Or is it knit-picky? Gnit? Clearly not, says spellcheck. Spellcheck also says that spellcheck isn’t a word… Why can’t I just write without editing myself? Because when I do, I write crap like this…

So, that’s my big entry into the world of daily writing exercises. Ridiculous navel gazing aside, the coolest part of the site is where it gives you your “stats.” For example, my first post was rated “R” due to language. My mindset while writing was “affectionate and concerned with leisure,” and my frequently used words included “good” and “crap” (speaking of leisure). Now, if only I could unclog my brain…